Your Response to the McFly Wedding Speech

By Jen Evans

That bloke from McFly has got married. Not the one with the nice cheekbones or the crazy rock ‘n’ roll one who won I'm A Celebrity.... No, it’s the blonde one who writes the songs and has a distinctive chin. Y’know, Tom Foster?

In the fine tradition of celebrity weddings being understated and deeply personal events, Tom has gone and posted a video of his speech on YouTube. During this subtle, understated and deeply personal 15 minute musical masterpiece, Tom serenades his friends, family and new wife with McFly classics, cringe worthily cleverly reworded to match the occasion.

At the time of writing, 2,217,413 people have watched the video. That’s a lot of opinions on a stranger’s wedding speech to be floating around without any serious analysis. Fear not, here’s a handy guide to what your response to McFly Tom’s wedding speech reveals about your personality and life. This is deep stuff.



Response: Fuck. I better go rework my Prezi and learn how to sing. I’ll never be that charming and talented. OH GOD, I NEED A POO.

What it means: You’re getting married on Saturday and suddenly feel very inadequate


Response: It’s all a bit...showy... I wouldn’t like that one bit. I mean, a children’s choir? Seriously?

What it means: You’re a tad cynical and married/in a relationship with someone that your Mom once described as “taciturn”. Your partner took A-Level Physics instead of Performing Arts.


Response: Where’s Harry Judd? I want to see more Harry!

What it means: A perfectly reasonable response. You have good taste.


Response: Where’s that posh Charlie bloke and Matt Willis? When’s he going to burst into “Year 3000”?

What it means: You’re a mature and responsible adult who regularly confuses McFly with Busted – nothing to worry about, it is an easy mistake to make.


Response: Tom? Would I? Hmmmm...probably still no.

What it means: A perfectly reasonable response. Tom is an acquired taste – like tripe or jellied eels.


Response: PHWOAR! Tom is looking hot!

What it means: You felt the same about Gary Barlow during the Take That comeback, didn’t you?


Response: I seriously hope this relaunches my chart career. And CHECK OUT MY HOT WIFE!

What it means: You’re Tom from McFly.


Response: I have no idea what I am singing.

What it means: You are a member of the cute children’s choir. You were two years old when "All About You" was released. But a gig’s a gig, right?


Response: This is the best thing EVER!!!!!!!!

What it means: You say that about most things that you see on the internet, when really you mean “this is mildly amusing”. You said the same thing about "Gangnam Style".


Response: Ooooohhhh, I bet those flowers cost a bomb. They’re awfully nice though – you don’t see hydrangeas around much lately.

What it means: You’re probably the author’s Mom.


Response: I hope my partner does something like this at our wedding.

What it means: You know that they won’t.


Response: My partner’s speech was far better than that.

What it means: Really? REALLY?! There must have been glitter cannons and puppies and abundant cutaways to Harry Styles and direction from Danny Boyle.


Response: This is reflective of the growing emphasis on spectacle at weddings, which indicates society’s moral decline and the erosion of the sanctity of marriage.  

What it means: Yeeeeaaaaahhhh, totally. You take things very seriously and like to engage in “meaningful debate” about important things, like Tom from McFly’s wedding speech. 

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:00 (GMT+00)
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