Friends with benefits (or fuck buddies, if we're being blunt) has become a widely accepted trend. It's easy to see the attraction for both parties. No commitment, no emotions and good, uncomplicated sex. However, it doesn’t always go to plan. Are you sure that you're benefitting from the benefits?
You find a friend who you're somewhat attracted to but not to the point where you secretly put your first name with their last name, decide that since you're both happily single but rather miss regular sex you may as well sleep with each other, and you get down to it. If it works, it's a rather spiffing situation to be in. Sadly, it doesn't always work.
But there are positives. Many of us do indeed have a very good friend who we're perfectly comfortable to be ourselves around. Occasionally we find ourselves eyeing them up when they’re wearing THOSE jeans and once or twice we've caught ourselves being curious about what's underneath them. We banish the idea of it ever being something more but when they pop up into general conversation with friends, we're happy to admit; I would. Why not? It's a good friendship, good sex - you both win, right?
As Timberlake and Kunis proved, however, it doesn't always end in a mutual agreement to simply stop having sex when one of you meets somebody else. Even after the distinct understanding that there will be no feelings involved, emotions come with having sex. If you're going to jump into this kind of relationship, it's worth setting some ground rules. First, don’t set a time limit; like you'll ever stick to that.
Secondly, and most importantly, don't go into it with expectations. Be absolutely certain that you want nothing more from each other and be completely honest with yourself if you have even the smallest of hopes that something more will develop. It'll save you feeling inevitably shitty when they tell you they’ve got a date tomorrow night.
Thirdly, be certain that it won't be weird once you're no longer naked. The point of being friends with benefits is that you can still be friends. You can meet up simply for sex if that's what floats your boat, but if you enjoyed their company beforehand, keep on behaving like friends. Hang out just as you would normally and treat sex like tennis. Do, however, avoid doing anything too coupley. Resist the urge to cuddle, for the love of god.
And finally, if it gets weird, cut it off. Avoid situations that could lead to sex and allow it to blow over before things get awkward. No one wants a spoilt friendship. A situation like this could either work really well or end up being a complete disaster. If you think it's worth the risk, ask yourself three questions first.
Is there a chance that you do/could feel more for them?
Would the two of you still be friends afterwards?
Would you be happy for him to sleep with someone else?
If your answers are no, yes, yes, then you go for it. I am certainly not here to tell you that sex should be meaningful and that sleeping with a friend is a bad idea. I probably should, but really, if one night stands aren't your thing and you have a hot friend who is as single and horny as you are, you freaking go ahead and take advantage of it. Just go careful, lovely. And be wary of potentially falling for a friend. Like you wouldn't fall for Justin Timberlake.
Or Mila Kunis, for that matter.
Image © Castle Rock Entertainment