If I asked you if you remembered your first time, you'd assume I meant a very specific thing. Not the first time you held hands with someone, kissed a person you fancied, had 'the talk' and decided you were in a relationship, realised you were gay, went on holiday together, or realised they were the only one for you. No, people always associate their "first time" with the first time they had sex.
To many people, this was probably penetrative sex. Whether or not this was the first time of many, or once only so it could be ticked it off the list because it wasn't for them, it's usually considered a very important thing to try. That's probably why everyone remembers it and why people ask about it. But why do they never ask about anything else?
Do you remember the first time you kissed fully clothed for what seemed like hours? The first time you touched someone under their clothes? The first time you had sex with someone else? Or did it somewhere other than a bed? There are a great many first times to be had even if we're just talking about sex, so why do we all simply focus on one specific act with one specific person?
We learn so much as we go through our sexual lives, and every single thing we try with a new person is adding another string to our bow. When we read about sexual acts, discuss them with our partner, try new things out, watch porn or even watch movies with sexual content, we're acquiring another first... or building up to one. Cosmo, Wild Things and Fifty Shades will no doubt have all sparked some firsts!
The first time isn't always particularly good though. After all, we usually need some practice before things become really satisfying. As Jarvis Cocker sang in Pulp's 1994 song Do You Remember the First Time?: "I can't remember a worse time. But you know that we've changed so much since then, oh yeah, we've grown." Looking back on what has happened since your first time is often far more enjoyable.
So, next time someone asks if you remember your first time, why not reply with "my first time doing what?" and a cheeky grin. There are many stories to be told and the classic first time is rarely the best of those. After all, everyone learns from experience.
Lori Smith is a fashionable feminist, lingerie lover and babbling blogger. She writes about fashion and sex/relationships over on her blog, Rarely Wears Lipstick, and can often be found tweeting as @lipsticklori.
Image via sebastien.barre's Flickr photostream.