Everybody knows at least one person; if you’re fortunate, several people, who light up the room simply by walking into it with their cheerful disposition and usual bounce. They seem to be permanently radiant and uplifting, greeting everybody enthusiastically, forever having charming things to say. Their energy is electric and contagious, we feel inexplicably brighter and we always look forward to seeing them.
And there are those who can best be described as the exact opposite. The energy vampires/fun suckers/downers/party poopers – whatever you want to call them.
We all know one and they come in many forms : The Victim, The Blamer, The Drama Queen, The Bullshitter. Their presence and relentless moaning leaves us feeling mentally drained and pessimistic. They often seem to have a natural ability to make us feel self-conscious, anxious, guilty, angry or simply not good enough.
We don’t need these people.
If somebody is constantly leaving you feeling unhappy; whether it be stressed, guilty, irritated or just plain exhausted, it’s time to rid yourself of that company.
Perhaps it sounds harsh, but if you wouldn’t keep expired milk in your fridge and you wouldn’t hold on to a broken hairdryer, there’s no reason to keep relationships that prevent you from being your best.
Preserving Your Own Energy
Sometimes we can cut out a relationship just like that, but often it’s easier to simply let a relationship die down gradually. If you can’t avoid an energy vampire entirely, maybe because they’re family or you have to work with them, try to limit the amount that you do see them and make a conscious decision to let their complaints, judgement and negativity fly over your head. If it helps, picture their energy flying around in an ugly shade of grey and choose to blow it out with your own more vibrant colour. You’re too good for grey.
These vampires aren’t necessarily people – our energy vampires can be our old habits, daily routines, activities, obligations and beliefs that keep us from being happy. By noticing what drains our energy and fills us with dread on a daily basis, we can change our behaviours, adapt more positive ones and rid ourselves of both our human and lifestyle vamps.
By letting these vampires go, we can make more room for those radiant, uplifting people, positive influences and happier habits that benefit ourselves and our lives.
Keeping The Good Ones Close
Keeping good people in your life is vital – doesn’t a social circle of people who uplift you, boost your confidence and support your goals sound a whole lot more enticing than friends/family who constantly complain and attempt to bring you down with them?! Positive and encouraging people will not only listen to your ideas and goals, but they’ll support them too. They’ll help you to seek solutions for any troubles rather than bringing you down further and they’ll be more up for pleasure and adventures!
To surround yourself with more positive people you need to be positive yourself! That stuff is contagious and sadly, negativity is even more so. Smile big, think optimistically, speak positively and be open to new friends – your kind of people will soon be flooding your way, encouraging your awesome every day.
Y’know the old saying, a la Robert Tew: “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.”
Are YOU a Positivity Vampire?!
If you feel you might actually be one of those who drains the energy out of other people, here's what you can do to stop that at once!
- Limit the daily complaining – save any moan that isn’t necessary. Complaining not only brings you down, but everyone around you.
- Greet people with a pleasant hello and a ‘how are you?’ rather than a list of reasons why you’re currently unhappy/tired/unwell every single day.
- Keep your judgement to yourself.
- Go into everything with the belief that you will enjoy it. You probably will.
- Don’t criticise what other people enjoy. Respect their passions and beliefs just like they should yours.
- Choose to cheer people up rather than bring them down.