How Do You Know When You’re Dating a Cheap Guy?


By Colette

Dating, when done right, can be a wonderful experience. Two people who like each other go out and engage in fun activities. It sounds pretty good to me. So, why aren’t more people doing it? Why has “dating” become such a bad word? I have two words for you: cheap guys.

Dating takes effort and money. Cheap guys withhold both. The cheapskates of the world have convinced single men and women that dating is outdated and useless. How many times have you heard a guy say: “I’m not into dating. It’s too much pressure. I like to just hang out with a girl and see how it goes,”? Hmm…let me decode this for you: “I want to get laid, but I don’t want to spend any money or go anywhere. Maybe I can get her to fall for the old ‘let’s just hang out and watch movies’ line.”

Ladies, next time a guy tries this line, insist that he come over to your house. Then, invite 10 of your girlfriends over. When he shows up, he’ll be surprised to see a whole slew of girls with mascara running down their faces, watching The Notebook and sobing uncontrollably. If he seems annoyed by the situation, just smile and say, “Oh, I thought you wanted to hang out and watch movies.”

Watching movies at some guy’s house does not constitute a date – especially as a first one! Women deserve to be taken out and romanced a bit, even more so when things are all shiny and new. The guy who thinks he can just pop in a DVD and order a pepperoni pizza on your “date” is not worth your time or energy. (Unless, of course, Blockbuster and Round Table are totally up your alley.)

If he’s unexciting when you’re dating, just think about 6 months from now: You’ll ask him to go out to a new lounge, and he’ll tell you that he wants to chill at home because there’s a Dog: The Bounty Hunter marathon on that night. Then, he’ll ask you for money to pay the take-out delivery guy.

I once met a guy who said he wanted to skip dating because he just wanted to be with me. I fell for it! Can you believe that shit? When we broke up two months later, I realized that he had never taken me out, even once. It wasn’t that he wanted to be in a relationship; it was that he didn’t want to spend any money on me. He had received all my affection and time without ever having to take me out. The guy was a genius! He should’ve quit his job detailing cars and worked for NASA or run for office.

True Story: My girlfriend is currently dating a cheap guy. She said she owed him $20, so she told him that she would buy some food for him when they went to the grocery store. This penny-pinching peon started grabbing his lunches for the week, by the handful. By the time they got up to the register, there was $120 worth of food in the cart. Turns out, he only had a few dollars on him!

How can you tell you’re dating a cheap guy? The signs are there, you just have to pay attention. The following are ways to know you’re “dating” Cheapy McCheaperton:

1. He never wants to go out because he’s “sick of the scene”.

2. He tells you that Valentine’s Day is just a way for Hallmark to make money.

3. At a bar, he buys two Heinekens, and then asks you for your share.

4. He never has his wallet on him.

5. He calls himself a “homebody”.

6.For a gift, he hands you a CD, still in the paper bag he bought it.

7. He’s not much of a “dater”.

8. He’s always borrowing a couple of bucks and never returning them.

9. Instead of going out and renting a DVD, he makes you watch his Empire Strikes Back DVD because he owns it - and “it’s the best one of the trilogy”.

10. He hates double dates because he has to pony up the same amount as the other dude.

If you are dating one of these close-fisted wonders – run! If you aren’t, learn how to spot one. Don’t put up with anybody’s bullshit. I'm not saying that they need to spend a fortune or that *going dutch* isn't an option, but there is a distinct difference between between being a freakin' cheapskate and wanting to share financial responsibility.

There’s no need to settle for a zero when you could be meeting great guys who want to take you out on real dates – ones that don’t involve delivery.

POSTED IN: LIFE
Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:00 (GMT+01)
12 Responses
1.

Oh god. Once I asked this guy out for dinner (should have been my first sign he didn't like me) and BEFORE we went out to dinner we had to stop by JC Penny so he could buy some pants...and THEN when we got to dinner he apparently didn't have any cash...so I had to pay.

Um, hello. Did you not just use you credit card to by some ugly slacks? Yeah. Yeah you did. He said he'd pay me back...never did.

Cate
Fri, 15-Aug-2008 09:14 GMT
2.

I'm a Guy, I know I'm cheap. But I take offence that its always because the guy doesn't want to spend the cash. If a guy cant be bothered to wrap a present, go out to dinner or generally doesn't want to go out, It's more likely that he's just not that into you, rather than he's tight. (obviously if he borrows money and doesn't pay you back or asks you to pay for petrol when he picks you up, thats another story!)

Also, theres no excuse really for not dating, theres lots of low budget things you can do that mean you can spend some quality time together, picnics, walks in the park, museums & art galleries, or if you like the outdoors, go camping!

Anonymous
Fri, 15-Aug-2008 12:00 GMT
3.

Dating anyone cheap is depressing and frustrating... but maybe guys feel they've got the short straw because they're 'supposed' to pay for stuff. I always split stuff down the middle with my other half in the early days so now he doesn't mind splashing the cash on the odd expensive gift or outing cos he knows that's not what I'm with him for (not that I'm suggesting that was your aim! Just maybe another reason guys are reticent to spend in the early days).

Alex
Fri, 15-Aug-2008 13:51 GMT
4.

I love how he just had to stop by Jc Penney's and grab a pair of pants! It couldn't wait lol.

From a guy's perspective, I can see where you're coming from. I agree with you that many cheap guys are probably not that into the girls. However, I think there's a percentage of cheap guys who are cheap because they can be. It doesn't matter how much they like the girl they're dating. Like my friend's boyfriend, ha!

I'm old-fashioned. I like it when a guy pays. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside like he really cares. I've gone dutch before, but only on dates I never wanted to see again. If I didn't like my date, then I wasn't going to make him pay for me. That seems mean.

Colette
Fri, 15-Aug-2008 15:12 GMT
5.

Oftentimes I find the dating scene tiresome because women expectations run so high already. Isn't dating supposed to be fun? When did fun require spending so much money for everything? What happened to just being nice to each other? I'm a casual dater because I think it's fun and I would like to find someone who I enjoy spending time with and who equally enjoys spending time with me. It's just a date, and if you're upset because the guy is anti-Valentine's or doesn't wrap your gift (gasp! the horror! dealbreaker!) then I think your expectations are out of line.

I'm not saying this article doesn't apply to a lot of guys, but it does seem anecdotal at best, and judgmental at worst. If anything, I'd venture that on average men are paying *more* on casual dating than before, simply because of higher expectations and tastes of today's modern woman.

Believe me, I'm not hurt for cash, and I am totally ok with paying for everything on a date, but if it seems a woman wants to get to know my checkbook instead of me, I'll cut it off immediately and make up some lame excuse about how I have to cancel the next date.

ed
Tue, 19-Aug-2008 23:10 GMT
6.

Women deserve to be taken out and "courted" if you will. What happened to romance? I think what you consider casual dating is different from what this article is based on. I'm all for a guy taking a girl out on the "cheap", as long as it's fun and inventive. But, if you just tell a girl to come over and hang out because you don't want to spend any cash, but you want to get laid, then that's wrong. It's not about a man's paycheck, it's the effort he puts into dating the woman. And, if a guy hands me a CD in a paper bag for my Christmas gift, then that's pretty lame lol. If you really like the girl, you're going to at least put a bow on it.

Thanks for the insightful comment, Ed. It's always good to hear from the other side.

Colette
Thu, 21-Aug-2008 20:08 GMT
7.

ok now i been dating this guy for like 6month.....he ALWAYS wear the same clothes and i tell him u need to buy clothes and get in style and he says ok..but samething.....is he cheap then
?

nira
Wed, 12-Aug-2009 18:49 GMT
8.

OMG, what do you think about this then. This guy asked me on a date, said he'd waited for years to ask me!!! He just wanted to walk and talk it seemed,i was getting over a cold and said I would like to stop for a cup of tea. He didn't seem all that keen and mumbled something about having no money on him. I said I would pay, it was no problem which it wasn't at that point.

Fast forward to 2 weeks later, he invited me to the movies that weekend whioh i thought was lovely but I got a text saying which cinema would I prefer. When I replied the one which was nearer, he replied saying "only thing is tickets are £3.00 more expensive!!!!!!!" Upon reading that I thought OMG he is s mean to mention that, but felt it was too short notice to back out of it so felt I had to offer to buy our tickets on line (to save embarrassment when we met) He said he would sort it out when we met. However, he never even ,mentioned or even thanked me and to add insult injury, he didn't even buy me any goodies or a drink, just a huge drink and hot dog meal for himself!!! Then later he texted me saying how much he liked me and yeah you guessed it......would like for me to go round and watch movies at his for next date. Not on your nelly. I've met some mean men over the years but he takes the biscuit for sure!!!!! :?)

helen
Wed, 07-Apr-2010 22:46 GMT
9.

Ew. I felt like I wrote this myself- great article. Some men are so pathetic. Like it doesn't take us money and effort to look good for them - cute outfit, hair, make-up, it's not effortless or inexpensive. But of course men want their women to look hot for them, but they are too selfish/cheap to court them. I've had my fair share of cheap men, and I want to avoid them like the plague. I'm going to keep an eye out for those signs- had to laugh at the "sick of the scene" sign. Ha! So true.

Anon Ymous
Mon, 02-Aug-2010 08:40 GMT
10.

I'm currently hooking up with a guy from work (bad idea, I know), and I'm trying to figure out what is going on. I get the gist that he likes me: he texts me multiple times a day, although often they are stupid nothing texts like an emoticon winky face, or a single word text. It's almost as though he's just saying 'hi' or just wants to keep the lines open. He can be very sweet, but as of yet he hasn't asked me to do anything fun really or go out. Since we work together we mostly just hang out afterwards, and, you guessed it, watch a movie. He also has jokingly asked me to buy him a drink after work, which I balked at, and later he said he was just kidding. He also isn't into fashion at all and wears the same boring clothes all the time, which is probably more a sign of his aesthetic taste than his cheapness. Mostly I'm bothered by the fact that he doesn't seem to be interested in trying to 'romance' me or even suggest fun activities for us to do. To be fair, it all started as an after work hook up initiated by me, and it's not even clear if we're dating or what. What do I make of this situation!?

romi
Tue, 17-Aug-2010 21:14 GMT
11.

So true; about time/energy/cost of looking hot-not-whore for a date. A little romance says, 'i get it. I appreciate having you next to me' I call Starbucks-Nobucks. I love Starbucks when I have time to kill or am with friends. It's not romantic. So the idea is they want to see whether they WANT TO BE romantic/sexy. Well that's like saying 'yeah I saw 6 photos of you but still am not convinced' Excuse me?? That's calling someone a liar. Who needs to waste time with that? AGAIN: when someone asks me or any girl out for coffee or a drink they're either saying 'I don't pay for dinner' or 'I'm not sure you're worthy' Neither one works. I just move on. Maybe I missed a lot of great guys but so have they.

twilfits
Sat, 30-Jul-2011 00:48 GMT
12.

Treating a women cheap is a sign of an abusive nature. Think ! Don't we always try to impress those we truly love ? How else do we do this order than doing great things for them ? Any man who wouldn't do a great thing for a woman has little respect for her. If the woman suffers low self esteem and puts up with this behaviour, he could go ahead to marry her but only to abuse her by treating her cheap .Many of these men abound everywhere, being abusers, they get a certain thrill seeing the effect of their meanness on women who allow themselves to become their victims.

Zannaffe
Fri, 17-Feb-2012 14:26 GMT

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