Love, Sex & The Internet: Are You Feeling Cybersexy?

By Esmerelda Smith

Sex 2.0 - doesn't sound very alluring, does it? Some might think that it has reduced the hot, carnal act of boinking to something digital. Perhaps sex is something that is supposed to stay in the analog realm, tactile and messy - divinely imperfect and flawed - not something that can be reduced to the binary.


Let me tell you about my friend Webcam Jack. I met Jack about ten months ago on the "adult" version of YouTube. Jack is an interesting man, while we’ve never met, never touched, never talked other than on IM or seen each other in full - yet, we have had some smokin' hot cyber sex.

Jack's fetish is that he gets off having other people - anonymous people - watch him get off. On camera. Published to the web.

I stumbled across Jack one day when I was looking for amateur porn to watch. His pitch for me to watch his video was quite simple: "Cam with me."

I clicked and found strong, handsome hands manipulating a very large... I was transfixed and watched an hour of footage of this man, before I sent him a private message complimenting him on his technique.

I didn't expect a reply; but, I got one. And, thus began a conversation which would initiate me full fledged into the world of cyber sex. It started with him IMing me late at night to ask me to watch him live. It amped up with me sending him photos of my cleavage in a saucy leopard print bra. Then pictures of his name written in lipstick across my cheek, a photo which only showed my ruby red lips, extra white teeth and naughty, naughty tongue.


I was sitting at home one day, working on an article and having Jack’s IM window pop on my screen. We chatted briefly for a while and then he invited me to watch him. And, I decided that it we should have our first time... where I reciprocated.

Honestly, it was a little awkward, like all first times are, my laptop balanced on a pillow, tilted just so... Making sure we could both see... Typing with one hand, trying to give him the appropriate encouragement... "Oh yes, I like that... I wish you were here... I was there... I’d do... You could do..."

It was hot and both parties left satisfied.

It was kind of like the time that my ex-FWB, Liam, discovered he could get me off via text message.

Liam, another naughty man, texted me one night while I was out with friends. My cell phone happened to be located in my front pocket. He texted me in reply to a message from me earlier in the day. My phone vibrated just so and yow, what a jolt of sexual energy!

I told him of this in my reply; and, wouldn't you know that I got about eighteen more text messages that night from Liam. And, then several more the next day. And, the day after that until he showed up at my house for dinner where we consummated the promises he’d been making in the text of those texts.

It's strange what gets us off. It's strange that so many things can. I cum just listening to my significant other describe anything from a naughty dream to his day at the office on the phone.  Something in the way he moves me... all that romantic gunk.

The whole point of this is not to put a computer in between to people; but, to use a computer or other device to bring two people together in a safe way which is enjoyable. In a world of choices and risks, these types of sexual interaction are - among consenting adults - alternative non-contact sex is probably the safest out there.

Granted cyber sex, text sex and phone sex are kind of like the boyfriend arm pillow; it might be nice for a nap now and then but it absolutely doesn’t replace the real deal. I encourage all reading not to dismiss alternative sexual choices such as these. Exploring your sexuality and what gets you off can only open you up and make you a more whole individual.

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 18:00 (GMT+01)
1 Response

I remember the boyfriend arm pillow - did anyone actually buy that?

Nice column, Ese. ;)

Tue, 16-Sep-2008 00:59 GMT

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