Last week I covered flirtexting, whcih leads me to sexting - an entirely different art that requires a more defined skill and a little more bravery.
While I'm sure I should be advising you of the warnings and the potential consequences, you won't listen to those (and neither would I). You're going to do it anyway (and so am I). Sexting, done right, can make for entertainment on an otherwise lonely evening, build up some much required tension and simply be good fun. God knows we could all use some more of that.
When the opportunity for sexting arises, granted you're keen and not merely doing so out of feeling pressured, keep a few things in mind to keep your risque conversations safe, smart and sexy.
Be certain that you're both on the same page.
Be cautious and discrete to begin with. Flirtext for a little while and keep it gradual. Try making an inappropriate innuendo out of an entirely innocent text that your fellow sexter has sent (outside of 'that's what she said') and see where it leads. If in doubt, send a text that comes across as accidentally dirty - a cleverly used typo or a badly phrased remark. Pretend to be oblivious and then disgraced by your unintentional slip, before following up with something quite clearly intentional with absolutely no apology. Test the reactions and let your playful side out.
Go by the common rule that less is more.
Leave a lot more than a little to the imagination. More graphic texts can often be a turn off - give the impression that this isn't something you do often and keep an element of mystery about this side of you. Save your best for the bedroom. All of your surprises musn't be worn out over a virtual conversation.
Fake it.
The beauty of flirtexting and sexting is that your recipient can't see you. Of course you spend your Wednesday nights in red lingerie, laying seductively on your silk bedding while you read erotic literature. You're certainly not in the penguin pajamas you've had since you were fifteen and the wooly socks that grandma knitted you, while you eat a microwave meal and watch catch up TV. Good gracious, no.
Be sensible with photographs.
I don't want to be the bore in any situation, but we all know a story of the girl who sent a naked photo of herself to a man who shared it with the world. If you're going to send those photos, be wise about it. Don't include your face and keep any tattoos or distinguishable features such as jewellery out of the shot. Anything that can easily identify you can lead to trouble. Make your backdrop a simple wall, too. Again, someone only has to know your interior decor to recognise who that bare butt belongs to.
I must add. Make sure these texts and photos are going to stay between the two of you. Delete them afterwards and ask the recipient to do the same - even if they don't actually delete them, they know that you expect them to remain private. If you're 100% sure about unleashing your inner sexter, be clever and safe, but have fun with it.
Image via vchili's Flickr