Stop Living Vicariously Through Tumblr


By Cate Sevilla

The internet allows us to look at other people’s lives more than we ever could before. 

People willingly divulge almost every minute detail of the existence, and the rest of us lap it up like it's cupcake flavoured water. However, while entertaining as this pastime of absorbing another person’s life has become, it's also become a bit destructive.

A Life of Whimsy

As Jezebel so poignantly noted earlier this year, there is this new movement of blogger who doesn’t just rant about their boyfriends or their work, but document their fabulous, craftsy lifestyle. From what they’re eating, to what they’re wearing, to what the inside of their home looks like, these girls are quirky, fabulous, and, quite frankly, rather intimidating.

Sadie Stein described these bloggers with “seemingly perfect lives” as living in homes “filled with an appealing blend of salvage and craft and re-upholstered chairs and melancholy found objects and vintage records, all of them full of magical secrets and totally devoid of clutter.” Which, to be honest, if you do a quick click-around the top lifestyle blogs, seems pretty accurate.

Some of these devastatingly adorable women don’t just go on dates, they go on date nights with coordinating outfits, impossibly cool hair, and it's all been captured on a hip Diana F+ camera. Sunday mornings aren’t filled with hangovers or the invoicing of clients - they’re spent frolicking in nearby flea market followed by a lunch of tea and cake - again, all captured on a filtered camera app to make it look that much more whimsical.

If you spend too much time reading about these women's lives which seem to be nothing but whimsy, vintage clothing, and hand-crafted magic, it can seriously start to fuck with your mind. As Stein points out, this is because these are real women in the real world and not just Martha Stewart and Nigella Lawson, and it gives you the feeling that “you, too, could (and should) be living a beautiful life”, if only you tried harder.

Obviously, if consuming all of these images of people living an awesome life is softly killing you, it’s because somewhere in the back of your mind you fear you’re not living a full life - or a least a life that looks good in Instagram.

But instead of going out and doing something you consider beautiful or enriching...you sit on the internet, retweeting and reposting artsy photos of other people’s existence from your messy bedroom. Go you.

Get Off Tumblr

The key to fixing all of this isn’t slamming the bloggers, hating them and subsequently yourself - it’s logging off of Tumblr, putting down your iPad, getting off your ass and DOING SOMETHING.

Gala Darling - whose own Tumblr photos will no doubt make you feel ever so slightly jealous - says that the obsession with photos of whimsical lifestyles makes her crazy because those pictures are “all aspiration, and no activity”. As she says, “Baby girl, posting more pretty photos isn’t going to make your life any more magical or wonderful, I promise.”

Amen.

Maybe your life won’t look like Elsie’s or Gala’s or even like Maggie’s. Just because you’re not documenting how wonderful that organic smoothie you drank after doing yoga whilst writing poetry in your moleskine doesn’t take anything away from it - the fact is that you’re doing it.

The bottom line is to do stuff.

Do the things you wish you could do. If you want to the take a sepia-toned picture and blog the shit out of it, fine, but the important part is that you get your ass offline and do something in real life. (And, no, hoovering doesn't count.)

Image via thefuckingnameislove.tumblr.com

POSTED IN: LIFE
Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:11 (GMT+01)
5 Responses
1.

great article. i've been thinking about this in regards specifically to fashion blogs. i recently came across one belonging to an acquaintance, and what i knew of her reality was so very different from what she chose to project online. hearts everywhere, pretty fluffy perfectly staged shots, decadent photographs of food... it was so not the reality i knew of her life.

i worry about projecting the same kind of illusions when i share my life online as well... but the key is to not LIVE online. to live your life, and then if you feel like it, share bits and pieces of it. and if you're the audience, to acknowledge that most bloggers cultivate this illusion of a perfect life, but you're really only seeing carefully selected or curated moments of their lives. i think it's a two way street: bloggers should be conscious of what they are projecting, and readers should consume critically.

also to end on a slightly snarky note, i personally think gala giving that sort of advice is a bit hypocritical. someone who signs off their posts with "glitter and leopard spots" and photoshops every photo she takes. but that's from the perspective of someone who has been censored by gala on more than one occassion because i wasn't giving "positive vibes" and focusing on the whimsical fun times of life...

garconniere
Mon, 17-Oct-2011 18:56 GMT
2.

Yes! Love this article. So true. You can spend hours scrolling through beautiful pictures on tumblr, and forget to actually, as you put it, DO STUFF.

Which reminds me...

Emma
Mon, 17-Oct-2011 19:00 GMT
3.

Love it!

rosina rubylips
Mon, 17-Oct-2011 19:14 GMT
4.

Garconniere - Exactly! Your online life should be glimpses of what actually goes on, even if it is through a filtered camera app. I have a love/hate thing with Gala. I love her radical self love stuff and the fact that she's so positive and stuff...but then sometimes I feel like she's perpetuating a ridiculous image of a lifestyle that is contributing to a lot of people's own self loathing. Like when celebrities claim that they're "really normal", if that makes sense.

Emma - Go go go!

Rosina - ;) xx

Cate
Mon, 17-Oct-2011 19:35 GMT
5.

Couldn't agree more with this article!

Amanda
Fri, 21-Oct-2011 04:32 GMT

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