I’ve noticed how the peculiarly chaotic levels of hormones that accompany either a new relationship or the end of one can manifest themselves in odd ways in everyday life.
Flirting at these times to restore some damaged self esteem is essential and healthy. But … who to flirt with safely?
Last time I found myself in this unsettling predicament, I decided to flirt my way into a free bus ride on the number 63. The driver allowed me to hop on and ride several stops towards civilisation (well, Elephant and Castle at least) where I could top up my depleted Oyster.
Do not expect this to work, however, when you are not emitting magic sex hormones (Mondays are generally unsexy). Or if you inadvertently use your ‘gay’ oyster card bearing the Stonewall campaign slogan ‘some people are gay, get over it’ - thus indicating your flirtation maybe just that and not a sign that you’re going to ask the driver what time his shift finishes and run away with him.
To be honest, I’ve been unrequitedly in love with so many straight women now that a better slogan for me would be ‘Some people are not gay, get over that’ but that’s a whole other story.
When I’d entered a new relationship a while ago, I went to my local shop with a spring in my step to buy milk and returned home with all kinds of unnecessary groceries (meringue nests, anyone?) as I’d been quite literally seduced by the shopkeeper and his bargains.
Yet, get too confident in your new found inner flirt and you can easily be taken down a peg or two.
Recently at a gig a woman came running up to me after my set and seemed really desperate to speak to me and I thought ‘oh, here we go… a groupie…’ when she broke the spell by saying ‘you dropped your Oyster card. Here it is’.
Mind you, it was my gay Oyster card so perhaps I can notch this down as another brief encounter after all.