Let’s get something straight. I am a feminist, but if you talk shit about my boyfriend you are dead to me.
I may be accused of being a traitor here but I stand by it. What I say about his lack of folding skills and his inability to put the seat down is one thing. What you say? That’s just not on. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
Female-based television has taught me that I’m wrong. I’m looking at you Loose Women, which has taught me that when I get together with my girlfriends it is their duty to comfort me about his shortcomings, and then run with it, taking the opportunity to spout every negative thing they can think off about my dearly beloved. It’s also made the world believe that this is how all women act when put in a room together. It does nothing but reinforce poor stereotypes.
We need to remember every woman’s right to defend their partner. I’d be hurt if I found out my other half hadn’t defended me to anyone, most of all his friends and family. I certainly will always do the same for him.
Luckily, I have what I consider to be the perfect partner, and this doesn’t happen often. It also helps that I have learnt how to put a friend in her place over such issues.
Here's my advice on how to handle someone talking badly about your partner...
Calmly explain that they are wrong
Getting defensive isn’t going to work. They have made up their mind, so nothing will change that but calmly explaining that you disagree and don’t want to talk about it with them should get them to back off.
Stop talking about this
If this continues after you’ve explained that you don’t want to, then it’s probably best to stop talking to this friend about your partner. They clearly don’t understand your feelings, and it’s the best thing for your friendship to remove any animosity as soon as possible.
Realise this is more about them, than you
It’s mostly important to realise that this bitching isn’t a good thing. Your friend isn’t doing this to help you out and it probably has more to do with their own insecurities than your choice in partner. It’s certainly crucial to realise that if they are being this way about your partner after all your protests then maybe this person isn’t so nice behind the backs of others. Don’t we all have a friend like that?
Stop
Eventually, and if this behaviour carries on, it’s best to understand that this friendship isn’t a good fit for you. This isn’t choosing your other half over a friend, it’s realising that friends are like romantic relationship, in that sometimes they just don’t work out.
Image from Arman Dz. Flickr Account