For those of us who didn't stay up all night watching the Golden Globes on some illegal streaming website - we've had to, like, read stuff online to give us an idea of how they went down. And watch stuff. It's all been quite exhausting.
However, from what I can tell, they were AMAZING.
Hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler seem to have been at the top of their game, as this 16 Best Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Moments post on Buzzfeed so clearly illustrates. Even better, after Bill Clinton made a surprise appearance, Amy Poehler said, "That was Hillary Clinton's husband!" and Tina Fey referred to him as, "Bill Rodham Clinton". Be still my drunken heart.
Just from scanning GIFS of the kick-ass female hosts and reading a few live-blogs, I don't know why anyone will ever bother paying attention to the Oscars again. Seriously.
Firstly, it says a lot that Ben Affleck not only was nominated for but won (and received a standing ovation!) for Best Director of Argo, but was snubbed by the Oscars.
Secondly, Jodie Foster "came out" in an incredibly moving acceptance speech for the Cecil B DeMille lifetime achievement award.
And, did I mention that Kirsten Wiig and Will Ferrell presented an award in the most amazing way possible?
It should also be noted that Anne Hathaway started her acceptance speech with the word "Bleurgh" and described her award as a "blunt weapon against self-doubt". (Why I ever used to hate her, I can't remember.)
Meanwhile in the world of television, Lena Dunham won for Best Actress in a comedy series which is a big HECK YES to begin with, but just as the music started to play over her scripted thank yous, she said simply and sincerely: "This award is for every woman who felt like there wasn't a space for her. This show has made a space for me."
Lena, you are too much!
And, to add a cherry to the feminist sundae that the Golden Globes seemed to be, the cast of Girls won for Best TV Comedy Series, beating out the likes of Modern Family, Smash and even The Big Bang Theory.
Between wins like that, and Tina and Amy's spectacularly hosting, I think the Golden Globes may be my new favourite awards show...
I'd also like to point out that Adele beat Taylor Swift in the Best Original Song category for "Skyfall". JUST SAYING.